be intentional

There have been a recent string of deaths of people who in different ways touched my life.  Some weren’t people that I new well, but I interacted with each of them in different ways.

A couple of them have died so young.  It really made me think about how important it is to to make the best of my time here on earth.

Life is a tender delicate string of reality that we cling to.  

I heard someone say, “We make the most out of our time when we have the least to spare.”  That is true for me.  When I only have a few minutes before someone is coming over, it’s amazing how much I can quickly get done around the house.  I used to write daily for 15 minutes.  Sometimes I was able to get more done in those focused 15 minutes than the other times when I had an hour or two to spare.

For the past couple of years, I have picked a word for the year.  This year my word is intentional.  This word coincides with how I have been feeling lately.  I want to be more intentional with how I spend my time, with the food I put in my mouth, with keeping up in my relationships with others, and with what I spend my money on.

In life, I don’t want to live with regrets.  I want to Be Intentional.

welcome

Welcome to Rebekah’s Hope.  I started this blog as my healing journey through my past abortion (nearly 25 years ago).  While I will always deal with the consequences of that day, God has truly used my experience for His glory.

If you’d like to read more of my story

Part One

Part Two

If you’d like to learn more about the Garden of Hope

GOH

My author website

mlalvarez

children are parasites?

Today I learned that some believe that a child in the womb is a parasite. That until it breathes it’s first breath that is all it is.

I have to imagine that mothers excited to be pregnant and starting their family, this is probably not what they are thinking. I am certain that when they see their ultrasound pictures that is not what they see.

We see what we want to see. The pregnant woman sees their child. The abortion minded woman or pro-choice advocate does not want to see it as a baby.

I deal in truth and sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes we have lied so much to ourselves that uncovering and facing this truth is painful. But it is exactly in these painful moments that strengthen us.

Recently I watched a video called “The Silent Scream” I am not going to post it here because it is one of those things you have to be prepared to watch (you can watch it on youtube). An abortionist recorded an ultrasound guided abortion and when he and his nurse reviewed the tape they were so affected by what they saw neither one performed an abortion again.

I have come a long way from when I had my abortion almost 20 years ago. But when I watched this video it really showed me what I did. I watched as the fetus moved away from the instruments. It had nowhere to hide. It broke my heart what my child had to endure.

I don’t think this is a political issue. This is a human issue. When we lie to ourselves we only cover up layers with more layers.

The truth changes us. When we know the truth it can set us free.

exchanging the lie for truth

I came across this yesterday.  It is going to be a video series that tells the stories of five women as they go through post-abortion recovery.  This won’t start until January 2013, but here is a short promo.

For those of us who are post abortive, it is a good way to relate to other women without actually exposing yourself.  When we listen to other people tell their story and it sounds similar to ours we can begin to realize we are not crazy.  The truth can conquer all the lies we have told ourselves.

moving forward

‎”Burst into songs of joy together, you ruins of Jerusalem, for the LORD has comforted his people, he has redeemed Jerusalem.” Isaiah 52:9

I am reminded how very blessed I am and how short life can be.  Instead of living in the past allowing a handful of mistakes to decide the rest of my life, I look toward the future and what I can do with what I have learned.  It’s not that I haven’t, I just need reminders from time to time.  If I gave any advice it would be this:  Learn from your mistakes, pick up and move forward don’t let them define you, let them mold you.

i consider it all loss

Philippians 3:8

More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,

I was talking with my aunt last night and we were going over our family tree for some relatives in the Netherlands.  It was not just names, but stories that came out and we both commented how history had a way of repeating itself throughout the years.

We talked about choices, but this morning I started thinking more of the choices I made and how each of them impacted and ultimately brought me to where I am.  It can get a little depressing when you start thinking of all the “if only’s”.

But am I unhappy with me now?  The real answer is no.

This led me to wonder if I did make all the choices I think I should have made…I, possibly, wouldn’t have made the one choice I have NEVER regretted which was Jesus.

A lot of choices in my life have left me empty, alone, beaten, raped, violated, and dejected.  But choosing Jesus filled me up, gave me hope, and a future.

All this brings me to the verse that popped into my head and brought everything together (that, and these two rainbows I saw this morning).  I consider everything loss except for choosing Christ; I cling to that truth, because it’s the only truth that has not broken.  It’s remained faithful and strong.  I can’t say I wouldn’t have ended up where I am now.  But it does make it easier to not regret, but be thankful for all that has gotten me to this point.

oaks of righteousness

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.  Isaiah 61:3b

Strength is what I long for on the days when inside I feel alone and weak.  When my emotions run high or low and nothing can comfort.  When there are no words and I have no confidence.  The days I want to give up and just go to bed.  When nothing seems right and every step wrong.

It’s in these moments, or in the days to come when I remember this verse that I love.  I want to be an oak.  Strong, sturdy, able to withstand the wind and fire.  To bring new life every spring and to rest every winter.   I want my roots to bury deeper into the knowledge of God and my branches reach out to shelter and comfort others.  I realize that I cannot do this on my own, my strength is at best weak.  I need to remember to call upon the one that healed me and comforted me in my time of need when no one else could.  When no one could say the words I needed to hear.  I heard His words.

My healing journey hasn’t been easy and it still continues, but the truth God has imparted on me remains a constant.  I have received beauty from the ashes, freedom for the captives, comfort for my mourning, my broken heart bound.  He has restored the places long devastated, rebuilt the ancient ruins.  He loved me when I was nothing and raised me up out of the miry pit and put my feet upon solid ground.  He gave me life when I was dead.  Yes, that is what I want to remember.