Tag Archives: testimony

welcome

img_8447Welcome to Rebekah’s Hope.  I started this blog as my healing journey through my past abortion (nearly 25 years ago).  While I will always deal with the consequences of that day, God has truly used my experience for His glory.

If you’d like to read more of my story

Part One

Part Two

If you’d like to learn more about the Garden of Hope

GOH

My author website

mlalvarez

Advertisements

a surrendered life

553794_109734882520213_626115256_n

I just started reading a book written by Pat Layton called “A Surrendered Life“.  This is a book about finding healing, freedom and hope from the heartbreak of abortion.  She also wrote the bible study we use in our healing groups called “Surrendering the Secret”.

I have heard her speak.  She has an amazing testimony.  It will make you cry, laugh, and rejoice with her.

In her book she states that every one of us has been affected by abortion.  Because 43% of all women have had at least 1 abortion, that equates to 1 out of 3 women.  If I take just my abortion.  It affects me, my sister, my parents, my grandparents, my aunts, uncles, my nieces, nephew, my friends.  It ripples out from there.  There is no where you can go to escape being affected by abortion.

Her book is another example of the importance of sharing our stories with each other.  I think of all the women that have been helped because Pat Layton was willing to open herself up and many other men and women like her.  It is this courage that urges me on.  When I want to be silent, I think about others who have gone before me and instead of shrinking back into the shadows I stand firm.

Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.  Let all that you do be done in love.  1 Corinthians 16:13-14 (NASB)

kenos

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.  1 Corinthians 15:10a

“without effect” is the greek word kenos.  Kenos means empty, vain, useless, lacking or hollow.

Hollow is the best word to describe my life after some pretty dark years.  Years in which more than just the abortion took place.  Empty is another word that would describe me.  I was an empty, hollow shell of a woman walking around.

But then one day changed my life.  My aunt invited me to her church.  I didn’t want to go.  I was comfortable where I was at.  I may have looked like a pig in it’s pigpen, but it was all I knew.  I was secure in my unhappiness.  I don’t even know why that makes sense.

It would be years after this day that I would be introduced to another person that shared their story of abortion with me.  It was through this sharing that grace began to make sense.  His grace to me was not without effect.  His grace filled up the empty hollow places in me.  Filled them up.  Out of this abundance I am able to overflow and share with other women.

There is no more suffering in silence, but speaking life.

overcome

Ever since my post on Sunday.  I dreamed this song that we had sung in church that morning.  It has been constantly rolling through my head.  I have been humming it for days now! 🙂  Specifically this part of the song…

We will overcome
by the blood of the Lamb
and the word of our testimony
everyone overcome

When we use the word of our testimony.  We overcome so much.  Whatever had power over us, by speaking it out loud we are empowered.

We overcome.

where hope floats

I have been reminded this weekend on many fronts of the importance of community and our stories.  The word of our testimony.

We. Each. Have. One.

We all have a story to tell, a story that can help someone.

It’s easy to become complacent and think your story couldn’t possibly help another soul and then I find myself in a group of ladies who are all post abortive.  They are unsure of me as I am unsure of them.  Our stories can be ugly and hard.  There are tears, bitterness, regret and plenty more tears.

I don’t want them to look at me and think she must have it all together.  It’s a good disguise, but it can only last as long as I open my mouth and the truth pours out.  I love the part where the girls relax because they know I have been where they are.  I have seen the depths of darkness.  I have felt the pain and shame that comes from abortion.

I think when we break down our walls and are vulnerable with each other our hope floats and it meets others where they are and where they need it.  Our stories intertwine and like ripples in a pond after you throw the first pebble they fan out over and over again.

Maybe just maybe I am a little better now because I also met someone that was vulnerable and told me I have been where you are.  I felt their pain and my pain but I also saw hope.

We all need a little hope.

PS…here are some of the amazing, beautiful stories I read this weekend…

Beth Moore’s Sister

OneThousandSingleDays

hope rekindled

It is easy to become disheartened and discouraged in this fight to help women who have been hurt from the heartbreak of abortion.  Women have to want it, but they also need to know where to go.  Where they will not be judged.  How do you put your trust in someone you do not know?

Sometimes the best thing I have is the word of my testimony.  I speak from my heart because I have been there.  This is not a political issue it is a humanity issue.  It is about broken people walking around with an empty spot in their heart.

I am sick of people on their mighty pulpit telling me how to feel.  Telling me that all this was for me.  Telling me that I should feel fine, that I should be happy now.  If I hear that it was a bunch of cells and not a baby…again, I might throw up.

I am not telling you how to feel, but to feel.  We all experience this differently.  But a lot of us relate to one another as we share our painful secret.  In the places God has healed us we are strong and mighty.  We are no longer weak and wear shame as if it is a fashion statement.

I see a new day dawning and I am excited for what’s on the horizon.  Make no mistake it is a fight and I will not stop fighting.

make the blind to see – part two

A story.

My sister was sidewalk counseling one Friday. It was soon after she had been given the news that she was pregnant.  It wasn’t happy news.  It was unplanned.  She already had two children and physically, mentally, financially was not ready to support a third.  Yet, still here it was.  Reality.  She couldn’t undo it.  There was no danger of an abortion, but in those minutes after receiving the news her mind raced:  This can’t be happening.  I’m not ready to do this.  How are we going to make it?  How can I give my love to a third child?  In those moments she felt a thousand doubts creep up inside of her.

God placed the right person at the clinic at the right time.

A young girl and her husband pulled into the wrong side of the clinic and my sister was able to go over and talk to them.  Because they had drove a distance to come to this clinic she also had her ten month son with her.  The young girl shared how she didn’t think she could love another child.  She was scared it would take away from the relationship she already had with her son.  Her husband  sat quietly with their son playing in the minivan.  She confided that her husband didn’t want her to have the abortion, but he would go along with her choice.

Because of the child my sister was now carrying she was able to share her own fears of what she had been going through.  After three hours of talking, questioning, and deliberating, this girl decided to choose life.  My sister kept in contact with her for a while after both their children were born and she was very grateful to have made this choice.

Fear drives us to do a lot of things we wouldn’t do under normal circumstances.  I see my sister and my niece that came out of that situation and I wouldn’t trade that little spit fire for anything.  She completes our family.  There would have always been a piece missing.  Sometimes I think that’s what I feel.  I feel a piece is missing from my family puzzle.  It’s not something I can get back in this lifetime.  It’s lost, but not everything is lost forever.

I still have hope.  Which is why I named my child Rebekah Hope and it’s also why my niece’s middle name is Hope.  One day my sister can tell her the story of how she saved a life before she was even born.  My sister say’s I am her hero, but she blessed me with wonderful children that brighten up my life and that makes her my hero.