Tag Archives: surrendering the secret

a new perspective

This summer I was privileged to be on the other side of our Surrendering the Secret groups.  I was not leading one, but I was able to serve in a different way by making goodies a couple times for their meetings and last weekend my friend and I made dinner for their retreat on Friday night.

It was a strange feeling being a part of it, yet being removed from the lessons, the stories, the journey.

While the women were eating their dinner in the other room there was a lot of talking and laughter and though I didn’t know anything of what brought them to this point, I smile knowing the path to healing they are on and the weight that has been lifted up.

It was a wonderful blessing to still be a part of it, but in a different way.


Surrendering the Secret is one of the great studies out there to help you heal from an abortion.

As a facilitator of this study, what I like the most are the video sessions.  In these video sessions you meet more women that are like you and me.  Bringing more women into the study reinforces that you are not alone.  I also like that the women are from all different walks of life, and had their abortions for different reasons and at different times.  There are also women that can relate to those that have had multiple abortions.

When it comes to multiple abortions, women think they are the worst of the worst.  Women actually think that mentioning one is ok, but that second or third…well, they don’t want to be that women.  I like that this helps these women realize that there are more women like them.

I like to shatter these lies that we tell ourselves.  This study was one of the tools that helped me do just that.


I was once afraid.  My secret held tight in the depths of my soul.  I felt defined by it.  Everything I did or didn’t do seemed to wrap around the one choice I made in my life when I was eighteen.

But then I found freedom.  Freedom in healing. Freedom in the shadow of the wings God promised to shelter me with.  Freedom in sharing this secret.

I have learned though that there are still others who fear.  Others that don’t want to be involved in such a “political” issue.  I see it less as a political issue and more like a human issue.

I shout out my life, my experience, my emotions.  I shout out what God has done for me.  Others seek the darkness and shadows out of fear.  I continue to seek the light.  Because in the light I don’t have to hide or pretend.  In the light I am free to live.  In the light God’s grace is real and far reaching.

In the light I will continue to stomp fear.

another review

I can’t really say enough about this movie.  I went last night to opening night to see it a second time.  It was moving and powerful in so many ways.

One scene that always gets me is the love the father has for his daughter.  While the daughter is feeling alone, confused, and unwanted…yet the father makes every attempt to show his daughter how much he loves her, wants to protect her, that he would do anything for her, and finally that he wanted her.  This is something I missed.

There is another scene that always gets me, but I really don’t want to give anything away.  It’s toward the end with the birth mother who made the choice to abort her child that resulted in the failed abortion.  It is the grief, the desire for forgiveness, the righting of the wrong that this scene drives a powerful punch right into my heart (in a good way).  It also helps knowing the back story of the actor Shari Rigby that really brings authenticity to this scene.

If you haven’t, visit their website and go see this movie…



A lot of pro-choice supporters think they are pro-woman.  This is a misconception.  The truth is that an abortion causes more hurt, regret, shame than any pregnancy would have caused.

Clearly I have been on the other side of this choice and have experienced all of these emotions.  I have not been alone.  I see other women who show up to our Surrendering the Secret bible study and I watch the transformation.  We go through the weeks and share our secret.  We face the truth.  We deal with our anger.  We experience and extend our forgiveness.  We are climbing the mountain.

Then suddenly it happens.

They arrive after the lesson on forgiveness and you can see the burden has started to lift.  The have a smile that reaches their eyes and they seem to breath easier, unafraid.

I am amazed every time.  I know its going to happen.  I know we are working toward this change.  But I’m blessed that can I witness this over and over.  I am in awe of the power God has in our lives and how he leads us and ultimately shows us himself.