Tag Archives: pregnancy

welcome

img_8447Welcome to Rebekah’s Hope.  I started this blog as my healing journey through my past abortion (nearly 25 years ago).  While I will always deal with the consequences of that day, God has truly used my experience for His glory.

If you’d like to read more of my story

Part One

Part Two

If you’d like to learn more about the Garden of Hope

GOH

My author website

mlalvarez

a simple test

I was in walgreens getting some random items while on vacation and the strangest thing happened.  A young lady came up to me.

“Excuse me,” she said.  “Can you show me where the pregnancy tests are?”

Me in my ocean beach gear wondered why she was asking me this.  She was so young and at that moment there were so many things I wanted to say to her, to ask her.  I was out of my element though.  I didn’t know where to direct her or tell her where there was a pregnancy resource center.  Ask her if she was ok.  So I just directed her to the pregnancy tests and prayed about her since that day.

She is still on my mind.  I watched her walk out of there.  Her small silhouette hidden by an extra large sweatshirt, her face shielded by the raised hood.  She looked like she wanted to melt into the background.

In the end I know it isn’t up to me to “save” everyone.  We all have our own walk, path, choices and decisions to make in this life.

can’t let it die…

pun intended (sorta).

To be honest, I am having a hard time moving past this bowling for abortions and mini golf hole-a-thon that happened this past month to help fund abortions.

Their website says:  “because women’s lives matter”another picture in their slideshow says: “help a woman change her life; fund an abortion and help  a woman care for her family.”

Abortion did change my life.  Abortion sent me into a spiral of self-hatred.  I sunk into a deep pit that I tried to climb out for years.  It changed who I was.  It took whatever was left of my innocence.  It took my child and future children.  It made me angry.  Not just a little anger, but spit-fire fly off the handle mad.  We can argue that I wouldn’t be who I am now without it.  But I argue back I don’t know who I would have been had I not had it.  It did not help me.  It’s empty promises did not bring peace.

I agree there is a need here.  They raised 500,000 to fund abortions.  I can’t help but think how this money could have been used to really help women.  Some women are scared, alone and think abortion is the only answer.  But I have seen the difference when a church throws a shower giving a dresser stuffed with everything the mother will need.  I have heard of families taking in mothers to help them have a place to stay while they get back on their feet.  There are so many organizations that help with clothing, diapers, and food.

Lord forgive us for we don’t know what we have done…

make the blind to see – part two

A story.

My sister was sidewalk counseling one Friday. It was soon after she had been given the news that she was pregnant.  It wasn’t happy news.  It was unplanned.  She already had two children and physically, mentally, financially was not ready to support a third.  Yet, still here it was.  Reality.  She couldn’t undo it.  There was no danger of an abortion, but in those minutes after receiving the news her mind raced:  This can’t be happening.  I’m not ready to do this.  How are we going to make it?  How can I give my love to a third child?  In those moments she felt a thousand doubts creep up inside of her.

God placed the right person at the clinic at the right time.

A young girl and her husband pulled into the wrong side of the clinic and my sister was able to go over and talk to them.  Because they had drove a distance to come to this clinic she also had her ten month son with her.  The young girl shared how she didn’t think she could love another child.  She was scared it would take away from the relationship she already had with her son.  Her husband  sat quietly with their son playing in the minivan.  She confided that her husband didn’t want her to have the abortion, but he would go along with her choice.

Because of the child my sister was now carrying she was able to share her own fears of what she had been going through.  After three hours of talking, questioning, and deliberating, this girl decided to choose life.  My sister kept in contact with her for a while after both their children were born and she was very grateful to have made this choice.

Fear drives us to do a lot of things we wouldn’t do under normal circumstances.  I see my sister and my niece that came out of that situation and I wouldn’t trade that little spit fire for anything.  She completes our family.  There would have always been a piece missing.  Sometimes I think that’s what I feel.  I feel a piece is missing from my family puzzle.  It’s not something I can get back in this lifetime.  It’s lost, but not everything is lost forever.

I still have hope.  Which is why I named my child Rebekah Hope and it’s also why my niece’s middle name is Hope.  One day my sister can tell her the story of how she saved a life before she was even born.  My sister say’s I am her hero, but she blessed me with wonderful children that brighten up my life and that makes her my hero.