Tag Archives: life

be intentional

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There have been a recent string of deaths of people who in different ways touched my life.  Some weren’t people that I new well, but I interacted with each of them in different ways.

A couple of them have died so young.  It really made me think about how important it is to to make the best of my time here on earth.

Life is a tender delicate string of reality that we cling to.  

I heard someone say, “We make the most out of our time when we have the least to spare.”  That is true for me.  When I only have a few minutes before someone is coming over, it’s amazing how much I can quickly get done around the house.  I used to write daily for 15 minutes.  Sometimes I was able to get more done in those focused 15 minutes than the other times when I had an hour or two to spare.

For the past couple of years, I have picked a word for the year.  This year my word is intentional.  This word coincides with how I have been feeling lately.  I want to be more intentional with how I spend my time, with the food I put in my mouth, with keeping up in my relationships with others, and with what I spend my money on.

In life, I don’t want to live with regrets.  I want to Be Intentional.

welcome

img_8447Welcome to Rebekah’s Hope.  I started this blog as my healing journey through my past abortion (nearly 25 years ago).  While I will always deal with the consequences of that day, God has truly used my experience for His glory.

If you’d like to read more of my story

Part One

Part Two

If you’d like to learn more about the Garden of Hope

GOH

My author website

mlalvarez

life is beautiful at any age

I went to see my grandma this week. It is hard to see her because the person we remember is fading from us. This time was especially hard because it was the first time she didn’t recognize me.

I am reminded that EVERY life is beautiful. I know it’s hard to watch what she is going through.  But despite this, I believe there are life lessons to be learned. Some may say it would be easier to put her to death…out of her misery.  But who says she is miserable.  She seemed somewhat content with her thoughts and surroundings.  We have an idea in our head what makes up a real life and we look at others who may have less and we wonder why were they ever born…they can’t do this or that.

Each of us is important.  Each of us has a purpose for our lives no matter how short or long we live.  No matter what imperfections we face.  We were all meant for greatness.

She is still teaching me something. How important it is to be faithful. To live in the moments we are given. To be present with those we love. Life is fleeting.  Those of us who still have breath should choose to live!

twin lives through an abortion

This is a beautiful story…

A young girl finds herself pregnant at 13 years old.  Her mother sends her to an abortion clinic.  She has the abortion.  But finds out later that she is still pregnant.

She was carrying twins.
She chose life for the second child.

The video story is told from that child’s perspective.

notes from the sidewalk

 

October 29, 2004
I was smart and brought a thermos.  Unfortunately I didn’t need it because it was almost 70 degrees!  It had been raining all day and it was still misting, but at least we were able to be hands free from umbrellas.  

I was driving to the clinic from work and there was a man standing on the corner selling roses.  With it being warm outside my window was rolled down.  I watched as he talked with his helper asking him to give me a rose, and then he walked over himself and also gave me a rose.  I was taken back by the sweet gesture.

I could give one to my sister when I met her at the clinic and that would cheer her up.  Then it hit me, we could give these to a couple of the girls going into the clinic.  A very small token to show them that they are worth so much more.  

It is funny how God works.

So we stood on the sidewalk,  flowers and literature in hand.  But no one was willing to talk with us today.  We left that night not handing out a single piece of literature and roses still in our hands.  We sprinkled the rose petals into the puddles and left them floating in remembrance to those souls who died and were darkened today.

moving forward

‎”Burst into songs of joy together, you ruins of Jerusalem, for the LORD has comforted his people, he has redeemed Jerusalem.” Isaiah 52:9

I am reminded how very blessed I am and how short life can be.  Instead of living in the past allowing a handful of mistakes to decide the rest of my life, I look toward the future and what I can do with what I have learned.  It’s not that I haven’t, I just need reminders from time to time.  If I gave any advice it would be this:  Learn from your mistakes, pick up and move forward don’t let them define you, let them mold you.

oaks of righteousness

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.  Isaiah 61:3b

Strength is what I long for on the days when inside I feel alone and weak.  When my emotions run high or low and nothing can comfort.  When there are no words and I have no confidence.  The days I want to give up and just go to bed.  When nothing seems right and every step wrong.

It’s in these moments, or in the days to come when I remember this verse that I love.  I want to be an oak.  Strong, sturdy, able to withstand the wind and fire.  To bring new life every spring and to rest every winter.   I want my roots to bury deeper into the knowledge of God and my branches reach out to shelter and comfort others.  I realize that I cannot do this on my own, my strength is at best weak.  I need to remember to call upon the one that healed me and comforted me in my time of need when no one else could.  When no one could say the words I needed to hear.  I heard His words.

My healing journey hasn’t been easy and it still continues, but the truth God has imparted on me remains a constant.  I have received beauty from the ashes, freedom for the captives, comfort for my mourning, my broken heart bound.  He has restored the places long devastated, rebuilt the ancient ruins.  He loved me when I was nothing and raised me up out of the miry pit and put my feet upon solid ground.  He gave me life when I was dead.  Yes, that is what I want to remember.

thank you

It has been close to six months since I started this blog.  Being the perfectionist that I am, I didn’t even know if I would make it past the first entry, let alone the subsequent entries.  But somehow, despite my editing, constant critiquing, and over analyzing, (even now I am trying to decide which of these three words should go first, second, and third. Really?) I have made it close to 70 posts.

It really started out as a way to discipline myself as a writer, break my silence and share my story, but it has turned into a bit more than I thought.  I have enjoyed reading what others have been writing, doing, learning.  In some ways it has given me further insight into my own struggles, even just knowing that I am not alone in this fight.

OK it sounds like I am leaving or dying…neither of which are true.  I really just wanted to say thank-you.  You all have encouraged me, pushed me on, and pulled me through (apparently I must write in groups of three).  My wings were once delicate like a dragon fly and I feared they might tear and I would plummet to the ground.  They are still delicate, but instead of fear, I am enjoying the journey and the view isn’t too bad either. 🙂

a simple test

I was in walgreens getting some random items while on vacation and the strangest thing happened.  A young lady came up to me.

“Excuse me,” she said.  “Can you show me where the pregnancy tests are?”

Me in my ocean beach gear wondered why she was asking me this.  She was so young and at that moment there were so many things I wanted to say to her, to ask her.  I was out of my element though.  I didn’t know where to direct her or tell her where there was a pregnancy resource center.  Ask her if she was ok.  So I just directed her to the pregnancy tests and prayed about her since that day.

She is still on my mind.  I watched her walk out of there.  Her small silhouette hidden by an extra large sweatshirt, her face shielded by the raised hood.  She looked like she wanted to melt into the background.

In the end I know it isn’t up to me to “save” everyone.  We all have our own walk, path, choices and decisions to make in this life.

make the blind to see – part two

A story.

My sister was sidewalk counseling one Friday. It was soon after she had been given the news that she was pregnant.  It wasn’t happy news.  It was unplanned.  She already had two children and physically, mentally, financially was not ready to support a third.  Yet, still here it was.  Reality.  She couldn’t undo it.  There was no danger of an abortion, but in those minutes after receiving the news her mind raced:  This can’t be happening.  I’m not ready to do this.  How are we going to make it?  How can I give my love to a third child?  In those moments she felt a thousand doubts creep up inside of her.

God placed the right person at the clinic at the right time.

A young girl and her husband pulled into the wrong side of the clinic and my sister was able to go over and talk to them.  Because they had drove a distance to come to this clinic she also had her ten month son with her.  The young girl shared how she didn’t think she could love another child.  She was scared it would take away from the relationship she already had with her son.  Her husband  sat quietly with their son playing in the minivan.  She confided that her husband didn’t want her to have the abortion, but he would go along with her choice.

Because of the child my sister was now carrying she was able to share her own fears of what she had been going through.  After three hours of talking, questioning, and deliberating, this girl decided to choose life.  My sister kept in contact with her for a while after both their children were born and she was very grateful to have made this choice.

Fear drives us to do a lot of things we wouldn’t do under normal circumstances.  I see my sister and my niece that came out of that situation and I wouldn’t trade that little spit fire for anything.  She completes our family.  There would have always been a piece missing.  Sometimes I think that’s what I feel.  I feel a piece is missing from my family puzzle.  It’s not something I can get back in this lifetime.  It’s lost, but not everything is lost forever.

I still have hope.  Which is why I named my child Rebekah Hope and it’s also why my niece’s middle name is Hope.  One day my sister can tell her the story of how she saved a life before she was even born.  My sister say’s I am her hero, but she blessed me with wonderful children that brighten up my life and that makes her my hero.