But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. 1 Corinthians 15:10a
“without effect” is the greek word kenos. Kenos means empty, vain, useless, lacking or hollow.
Hollow is the best word to describe my life after some pretty dark years. Years in which more than just the abortion took place. Empty is another word that would describe me. I was an empty, hollow shell of a woman walking around.
But then one day changed my life. My aunt invited me to her church. I didn’t want to go. I was comfortable where I was at. I may have looked like a pig in it’s pigpen, but it was all I knew. I was secure in my unhappiness. I don’t even know why that makes sense.
It would be years after this day that I would be introduced to another person that shared their story of abortion with me. It was through this sharing that grace began to make sense. His grace to me was not without effect. His grace filled up the empty hollow places in me. Filled them up. Out of this abundance I am able to overflow and share with other women.
There is no more suffering in silence, but speaking life.
Posted in Abortion, Hope, Testimony, Truth
Tagged 1 corinthians 15:10, Abortion, abundant life, empty, grace, hollow, overflow, share, shell, silence, silent no more, speak life, testimony
I read this Psalm yesterday in an article and it resonated within me. How beautiful it is that my face no longer bears the shame I once wore. God has delivered me and I like to think my face now radiates his grace and glory that is alive in me.
Psalm 34: 1-5
1 I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
2 I will glory in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.
4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
I was once afraid. My secret held tight in the depths of my soul. I felt defined by it. Everything I did or didn’t do seemed to wrap around the one choice I made in my life when I was eighteen.
But then I found freedom. Freedom in healing. Freedom in the shadow of the wings God promised to shelter me with. Freedom in sharing this secret.
I have learned though that there are still others who fear. Others that don’t want to be involved in such a “political” issue. I see it less as a political issue and more like a human issue.
I shout out my life, my experience, my emotions. I shout out what God has done for me. Others seek the darkness and shadows out of fear. I continue to seek the light. Because in the light I don’t have to hide or pretend. In the light I am free to live. In the light God’s grace is real and far reaching.
In the light I will continue to stomp fear.